My boss asked me to write a recap of our HalliDay festivities each night. We had aobut 7 of these 15 minute parties, I wrote up narratives of a few of them:
Yesterday marked the beginning of our HALLiDAY season. Capt Hall celebrates Christmas in Baghdad from 15 Dec to 25 Dec. Not a day more nor a day less. So, to properly celebrate the festivities each night we irreverently don hats, glasses, and other festive apparel, sing carols, light candles, and have a keynote speaker. Tonight it was Capt Glanzer who reminded us to give at Christmas, but we were reminded by the crowd that getting is good too. He read the last paragraph of Dickens' A Christmas Carol. The crowd erupted in cheers, hoots and hollers when he read "no further intercourse with spirits ... but Total Abstinence...." The Marine Lieutenant, from Fallujah, ended the speech with "god bless us everyone" to much applause and revelry. Afterward we sang We Wish You a Merry Christmas while our boss, master and Lieutenant Commander Carsten, tried to stay on his feet after several non-alcoholic beers. There was no figgy pudding and true to the verse, we have not left. We followed it up with Jingle Bell Rock and a hard-core thrashing center stage by Sergeant Shrage. Finally we sang Joy to the World with an edge ACDC would be proud of. Capt Henderson started off the carol by setting the pitch and Capt Imperato sang the melody with the sanity of a man stuck here for 365 days. But the highlight of the night may have come earlier with Sergeant Ornelas stomping his foot during the Drummer Boy. The song ended early with the Commander's excitement at how many times the song says "rum." Sailors! Always about the rum!
More to come from the HALLiDAYS Festivities, Baghdad, Iraq.
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More to come from the HALLiDAYS Festivities, Baghdad, Iraq.
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The festivities raged on with all the excitement of warriors at the tip of the spear!!! This rage train has taken off, and it's moving fast – try to get off now and you'll get hurt!
The evening started off with a touch of Elfin magic from Corporal DeWeerd who knows more about elves than the average man – more than any man should rightly know. We listened with festive apparel donned, raging about the injustice of presents wrapped in India. A few dared to obtain the knowledge of the elves without a festive hat or crown, only to but cut down by the master and lieutenant Commander Carsten with an inflatable sword. Even those not normally touched by the Christmas spirit placed cheer on their heads and joined in the festivities. After the discourse on elves we sang carols with such excitement that Captain Imperato burst out of his pants. We sang some new ones and some Magcell favorites. You could almost see the snow fall as Capt Fill carried us through Walking in a Winter Wonder Land. Who would have guessed the "poolside princess" would know the lyrics of a song about snow and could sing it with fervor amid the onslaught of Chinese yo-yos? Then we went Up on the Housetop with ol' saint Nick, and right back down again to We Wish You a Merry Christmas (Get Some)! Every detainee in the TIF reached for their shiv as we sang it with enough Christmas Cheer for all to hear. We ended the evening as it must: with Sergeant Schrage cutting the rug to Jingle Bell Rock. He danced for two as Lieutenant Cotter failed to represent the Marine Corps with the spirit of Christmas one would expect of a Devil Dog. Damn Leather Necks! It's all blood and glory and no cheer, even at Christmas!
The evening started off with a touch of Elfin magic from Corporal DeWeerd who knows more about elves than the average man – more than any man should rightly know. We listened with festive apparel donned, raging about the injustice of presents wrapped in India. A few dared to obtain the knowledge of the elves without a festive hat or crown, only to but cut down by the master and lieutenant Commander Carsten with an inflatable sword. Even those not normally touched by the Christmas spirit placed cheer on their heads and joined in the festivities. After the discourse on elves we sang carols with such excitement that Captain Imperato burst out of his pants. We sang some new ones and some Magcell favorites. You could almost see the snow fall as Capt Fill carried us through Walking in a Winter Wonder Land. Who would have guessed the "poolside princess" would know the lyrics of a song about snow and could sing it with fervor amid the onslaught of Chinese yo-yos? Then we went Up on the Housetop with ol' saint Nick, and right back down again to We Wish You a Merry Christmas (Get Some)! Every detainee in the TIF reached for their shiv as we sang it with enough Christmas Cheer for all to hear. We ended the evening as it must: with Sergeant Schrage cutting the rug to Jingle Bell Rock. He danced for two as Lieutenant Cotter failed to represent the Marine Corps with the spirit of Christmas one would expect of a Devil Dog. Damn Leather Necks! It's all blood and glory and no cheer, even at Christmas!
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People tried to shake Kid Rock's hand so we had no HALLiDAY Festivities:
Today's narrative is that there is no narrative. We sacrificed our Christmas spirit to a trailer trash icon with a beer gut who never showed — a curse to all those who wanted to shake hands with a man who is perhaps more famous for who he's done than what he's done. Undoubtedly there are some among us who relish the idea of Christmas without songs, revelry, singing, master and Lieutenant Carsten dressed like Darth Vader, or getting lots of presents. Those people suck!!!
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Tonight's festivities were without precedent. Sergeant Schrage calleddown the powers of heaven with authority from on high. The crowd cried "amen" to the almighty. Thankfully he was stopped before he started asking for money. The AOIC emeritus followed with a serious sermon on Hanukah. He was reminded half-way through to include jokes and he followed through with a few punch-lines delivered with the charisma of a man whose bags are already packed - both literally and mentally! The 12 Days of Iraqi Christmas brought the proverbial house down and is a tribute to our MAGCELL Poet Laureate, Sergeant Schrage. However, as amazing as these events may seem, Sergeant Frye shook the very foundations of the universe as he danced the worm so smokin' hot to Jingle Bell Rock, that - I just reported as I see it - a few men questioned their sexual orientation. In the end, some of us found amusement in watching the new people ponder whether or not this dusty land would leave them in the same condition the rest of us are in – half crazy and totally dog-faced! But that's what happens when you're on the tip of the spear in the Global War on Terror!
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Last night, with battle rattle and festive headgear, we were all speechless! Not because Capt Glanzer turned down the near beer, or because Captain Knudson could barely talk because of laughing while giving her speech, but because we learned the hard way that whistling butts and Christmas cheer just don’t mix, even during the HALLiDAYS. Lieutenant Cotter wiped it up with the marines of Christmases past, present, and future – well at least past and present. He may have forgotten about Christmas future, but he himself saved Christmas present! Then we sang with record HALLiDAY spirit while Lieutenant Korody, on his way home from CCCI, sat looking at all the fun he missed out on during his sojourn in the IZ. But just like not everyone makes the grade, not everyone gets the MAGCELL.
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